Why do I write this crap?

Ok so I am tired, worked all day and feel like poop. I wanna just crawl into bed but I figured, I haven't written a blog in a long time and probably need to do so. So I am workin to save money for movin to Nashville in august. Although all I can think about all day long is just being away from here, living the life I enjoy rather than this temporary one I am forced to live. I hate 9 to 5'S. I hate the monotony of being in the same place, doing the same thing every day for 8 hours straight. That is frustrating. It's not like my job is challenging or exciting to me in any way. I take customer service calls for Bank Of America, which by the way, totally gettin a bank of america account asap! I guess thats the one cool thing thats come out of this job. lol I spend my spare time workin on promotions for the band, up till 5 am usually workin on that, conference calls in the morn, maybe catch a little MEEKAKITTY on youtube before headin off to BOA CENTER, then back to the apartment for more work a short nap they call sleep. lol

So life is, how do you say, shitty right now. I know it works toward the good though. God has a plan, and sometimes his angels feel more like punches to the face rather than helpers. lol But I know it will all work out, just a few more months of this mundane garbage and then I'm off to LA to record the first full length indie album with ZOBEST ENTERTAINMENT, very exciting stuff mind you. I have a concert this weekend in Morgantown, wv at a cafe called SOZO, very souped for that. ALTHOUGH, I have so much to get done and not enough time in my day for all of it of course. I am freaked a tad. So much to do, not enough time to do it in, and I'm only ONE person, go figure. lol But I need to just release all that stress and let it go, so tonight before bed, I am gunna just hand it over to the man upstairs and watch him take care of it all. :) Pray for my sanity.

Without A Bridge To Burn Life Is Glorious :)

So I have decided that the statement, "I have no more bridges to burn" aptly suits my life right now, why? Not because I am hopeless or without anything left in life to be joyous for, no on the contrary. Where as most people apply that phrase to a life that's seen it's last measure, I am applying it to a new way of looking at my whole world. :) You know me, always on the move for a NEW WAY of seeing. ;) See why use BRIDGES, when you can FLY! :) I have been using my wings a heck of a lot more lately. For such a long time my wings were weak, under construction, and some times I barely remembered I had them. So walking on bridges, trucking it out through the rough terrain of what we call the "ground", I became tired and forgot who I was. NOW, I have been reminded, God always seems to shed light on the darkest areas at just the right moment, giving us ample opportunity and time to step out and walk in it.

So it is, I am flying again. See all my bridges had burned, and I thought, what the heck, Ima drown in the sea of life if a bridge doesn't get re-built here soon...then like an angel encounter from nowhere, it hit me. Wait..."I FORGOT! I HAVE WINGS!" I can just fly now. So here I am flying, and my first flight...YESTERDAY WOOTWOOT! lol I flew out to LA for the week. Did I ever wanna come back here? Nope. lol But I went, for several reasons. Visit friends, sing in Hollywood, and do a few business lunches. So I woke up this morning and something hit me like a train...

I missed it here. I walked out onto the porch of my Mexican Parent's home, LOL, and it was 75 degrees and sunny at 9am and I thought, "Wow, I missed LA". haha I feel free here, more free than I have ever felt here, my heart is in a different place, I am in a different place. I will be here in LA till sat then headin back to 13 degree weather is gunna kill me! LOL But I will be glad to be with my Neenyo again and see my friends, and get back to work on album arrangemnt. LA is nice for a temporary stay, livin here is another story lol

So yes, no more bridges, look on your back, you have wings, start flying...today.

New York City Baby Yeah

New York City Baby Yeah

This is my picture album of new york city 2009 ENJOY

Can I Be Honest?

Ok so I am rough, always been. I am a fighter, I am super strong...probably not as strong as I think, but still sometimes I barrel into circumstances as if I am invincable. That word, invincable holds so much power sometimes in my life, that when the reality comes crashing in that I am not, and no one is, I break hard...real hard. Right now so much beauty has entered my life. I am more free than I have ever been. I embrace the unknown, love like a LEDGAND (Love Effortlessly Drink Grandly And Never Deny). Yes I am aware that LEDGAND is actually spelled Legend. I have my own version of it of course. :) I am such a poser sometimes. lol So with all this wonder, when will I break? When will an onslaught of pain and confusion hit, taking me this way and that way, moving me from content to be idle, to hell bent on growing. Do I wanna grow? HECK YES! Am I looking forward to all the struggle and wounds that come with it sometimes...NOPE. lol But I will take each hit like a pro...why cause I am strong, not as strong as I put off, but strong enough to keep on breathing even when all the air is gone. I am only strong because I choose to be weak in the arms of God. I am not sure how that belief settles with any of you. Whether it offends or what have you, but oh well this is my blog ;) lol Today is an odd day. I rolled out of bed later than I wanted. I feel lazy today, being that its woman time and I would rather sleep this day away, I guess I am doing pretty good even being awake enough to write this blog. I have plenty, and I mean plenty of work to do. Research for sponsors for the summer tour, song arrangement rehearsal at 3pm, workout session at 5pm, a bunch of little things as well updates for the new music video, photo editing for press kits, e-mails to send, calls to be made. Maybe I could call Chel (my personal assistant) and have her handle a lot of the little things so I can focus on the bigger more hands on ones. lol She is so good to me. She takes care of everything I ask of her, I should give her a raise. LOL LOL LOL Anywho...Hope everyone's day is filled with LOVE and beauty and GROWTH. Don't be afraid of it...no matter how much it hurts NOW, now always becomes part of the past eventually.

In New York, Big Lights Will Inspire You...something something I can't remember the words.

New York City was way awesome. I however missed my singing engagement...due to some navigational errors that my friend Luke made. We got lost...let me say something real brief about men and how they seem to think women can't navigate...Luke got us lost...I got us found...too late to perform, but I navigated well. Luke is a country boy. :) lol The city is def not the woods. lol anywho...just thought I'd rant a bit. lol But it was awesome anyways, the club owner understood and offered to maybe book me in the summer, since my manager is booking a summer tour after we record the new album, it seems only just. :) The place is called Paddy Reilly's Music Bar, check em out on myspace. :) or Openmic.org :)

We did get to see times square, statue of liberty, elis island, radio city music hall, and the empire state building though. So we touristed. Being a tourist is fine for me. I am actually a huge nerd when it comes to being on tour for my music...I love to tourist it up. lol So sue me...yes I love postcards. Souveniers maybe not so much, but I did get this wicked cool New York hoodie. :)

Spending time with my families was the best part of the trip. Christmas with my Aunt Momo and Uncle Jeff, dinner at my adopted Family's house in Easton, PA. All in all the trip was a success, even though 2 of the shows were canceled and we got lost and missed the third, some people in the industry would have called that a dramatic failure. I call it God's good timing. :) Things are meant. Not that being late or irresponsible on purpose is cool, but when things go "wrong" or really when things go "different" from what we have planned, getting all upset and angry over things that cannot be changed is silly, instead, embrace the shift in the schedule and make a go with it. Ya just might miss the show and end up standing in Times Square getting a FREE HUG instead. :) It's woman time too...so trust me I needed it. lol


ps. If ya wanna see more of my pictures from my new york adventure visit my facebook

Nothing Is As Bad As It Seems...

As I sit here with my friends Dusty and Holly a christmas Beatles song plays on the television in the backround as I write these words and contemplate the up coming week. Crazy busy...cause NEW MUSIC VIDEO shoot commences from Monday Dec 7th to Wednesday Dec 9th. Then on Thursday Dec 10th I hit the road with my friend/2nd Assistant Kristin McFann and my other friend Luke Farmer. I have to sing in New Jersey and New York and we have a full weekend planned of "mini" tour fun! We plan on stopping in Easton, PA to visit my adopted family, then in New Jersey, crashing on the couch of my Aunt and Uncle is imperative. :) Statue Of Liberty and Elis Island Museum tours, Paddy Reily's Music Bar in New York Saturday night, and not quite sure of the booking in New Jersey for friday yet, but it's gunna rock.

I also have to shove some Christmas shopping in between video shoot takes, lunch in New York China town, and when ever else I can. lol I don't mind, this is my life and I choose to accept it :) Today has been a rough day. I won't lie. Dealing with people who shouldn't even be bothering my life and having to face the reality that not everyone wants to be "nice" to everyone else. I hate that. I am a people person. I love others so much. Yet somehow, we can't always have kindness and patience returned to us. So I faced that fact again today, I have faced it many times in life and it never gets easier, but my reactions gets better. :) Keep Moving Forward, great motto...watch Meet The Robinsons and watch a life change begin. ;) lol Yes it is a Disney Cartoon, so what? lol Well nothing is as bad as it seems truthfully. No matter what you're going through there are always other reasons in your life, maybe at that very moment worth being excited over, excited enough to ignore the bull. Right now an early bed time in calling my name. I must be awake at 7am tomorrow. But peace to all of you and stay awesome.
This is a picture of me and my 2nd Assistant Kristin McFann, learn her, she will be famous one day ;)

Life keeps moving and so do I...

Today is a fantastic sunday. I am sitting here in a drug study clinic...YEP Thats right, I am participating in a paid drug study. :) When you are a musician, especially an indie, a lot of what you spend on touring, recording, distribution, etc comes out of your pocket. As you grow your support grows and as your support grows so does the money thats invested in you. Right now, this drug study is a blessing, paying for plenty of things I need to do over the next couple months.

There are several amazing people in here, mostly staff, whom I feel very safe with. Kind, courteous, loving ladies wielding their needles and rubber gloves making merry their work as they kindly herd us from one room to the next. ;) It's not bad, just sitting around watching movies, reading, playing on my computer. Seems almost unfair to be getting paid for this. This whole week will be dedicated to this study and by wednesday of next week I will be 1,200 dollars richer...for 5 days of work. Pretty great, plus I am contributing to modern medicine. Ok Ok...so contributing to modern medicine really doesn't appeal to me all that much, though it's a nice thought, having the money to fly to LA, or tour New York fills me with a little more joy.

So yep...pretty slow day, you would think...but I have been working since 5:30am. When you are still independent in the music business you promote yourself, and promotion work is hard work; long, tedius, and stressful at times. Thank God I have an outstanding promotions team to help the SHA FAN GIRLS TEAM. They rock, several young girls from mostly Morgantown, wv and a few from other states and countries all over the world. These sweet girls offer their time to post videos, maintain websites, create flyers, and more. So work work work while I am in here. I don't mind though. I like promoting my music. I want it to be heard.

I also need to start planning for, mapping out, and getting organized next weekend's small mini OPEN MIC TOUR. From Dec 10th to the 13TH I will be traveling up through Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and New York. Visiting friends, family, and hitting a few cafes and clubs to drop in at their open mics, hand out some CDs, and make a few dents in the music world. :) I am very excited about that! You all will be pleased to know that pictures, videos, and stories from that small tour will be posted on here as soon as I can get em up. Right now...I need to get goin, but everyone have a blessed day and think hard on how your life is moving forward...what do you wanna see in your life over the next few years? Comment it.